MacPaddy.com is Up and Runnin'

Check out the site. Add it to your favorites. Add comments. Suggest stories. Let me know what you want me to add. This is probably the end of this site... Long live MacPaddy.com

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Make good choices!

Fat Kid Fights Back With Devastating Body Slam

Skinny punks everywhere - You have been put on notice. Big fat kids will kill you.

Building the MacPaddy site. Will be done by next week.

Thanks E-Rock for the video

Shaq Killed Biggie Smalls

Shaq was supposed to party with Notorious B.I.G. the night he was killed... but Shaq fell asleep. Biggie died 14 years ago today. Thanks a lot Shaq.
Brother Mike with the assist on this one

Hacksaw Jim Duggan Inducted into WWE Hall of Fame

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Joining Duggan is Shawn Michaels, The Road Warriors, Abdullah the Butcher, Sunny and Bob Armstrong HOOOOOOOOOOO! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! HOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Little Kids Are Gay!

Picked this one up on CNN. Check out the story. A guy started a blog about gay children... I think the purpose was to show that people are born gay, they do not choose to be gay. I think that is absolutely true in most cases, but if you are under two years old and your mother is dressing you like a girl than maybe you weren't born gay... your mother made you gay. And I think about 10% of lesbians are lesbians because no men will sleep with them and having sex with a chick is better than having no sex at all. Can't blame them for that!

These opinions in no way reflect the opinion of Macpaddy Management or staff... wink wink

Chara Decapitates Max Pacioretty

I bet that guy has a headache in the morning...
By the way, we lost the game and looked pretty terrible in the process.
UPDATE: Pussy Canadien Max Pacioretty has a concussion
Chara gets no fine or suspension for clean hit

Lady Gaga Has a Penis and is at the Garden Tonight

I'm pretty sure Lady Gaga is a man. Above is a cropped out photo of Gaga from my wife's copy of Vogue. It must have taken them hours to airbrush out Gaga's adams apple. Marylin Manson made a more convincing woman. But I bet he/she/it put on a great performance tonight at the Garden. He/She/It is very talented. I'm sure his/her/its parents are very proud.

Irish Thunder

Irish Thunder was my nickname in middle school for obvious reasons, so I had to read this book. It's about the great Micky Ward and his asshole brother Dickie. I was shocked when the book turned out to be really good. It was written by Bob Halloran, the weekend sports anchor on Channel 5 in Boston. I guess if you only work on the weekends you have a lot of extra time to do research for a book. Tons of interviews, inside access and great fight descriptions. Halloran only sold 10,000 hard copies of the book when it came out a few years ago...so it's only available in paperback. I'm guessing "The Fighter" hasn't hurt sales. If you like boxing, pick up this book.

"The Fighter" Out on DVD March 15th

I can't believe I haven't seen this movie yet. Above is some of the best of the real Micky Ward. 51 professional fights and he never finished one off of his feet. He took over 350 punches in his last fight with Gatti and didn't go down. He had the best left hook to the body in boxing. Tough motherfucker

White Men Can Jump?

Not me, but this kid can. Jacob Tucker is a senior D-III basketball player for Illinois College and he can jump out of the building. Kid is 5'11 and has a 50 inch vertical. For comparisons sake I'm 5'9 with a 5 inch vertical. I can barely reach the top of my refridgerator. This kid can't play in the NBA, but maybe there is a spot for him on the Globetrotters? or the Washington Generals.

Best Bike Ever?

If the pigtails were the handlebars it would be perfect...

Pave Over Your Problems!

This is my first ad. Designed it myself... I'm a proud Papa. Putting a website together for them as well.

They pay between $100 - $500 for referrals. So if you find them a paving job we both get paid! LBC Construction (508) 880-7406

Are You Fucking Kidding Me Tom Brady?

In our latest installment of Are You Fucking Kidding Me... we have Tom Brady with a pony tail in Brazil. Are you fucking kiddng me Tom? A pony tail? Didn't Moss get traded after he told Brady that he "looked like a girl" last season? You think this is going to help? Are you fucking kidding me! Can we get a haircut before next season? I'm not asking for a Johnny Unitas cut, but maybe a boy's regular? Is that so much to ask? If you just can't part with the hair, can you stay away from the rubber bands and scrunchies?

I get it. We all get it. You are very rich, talented, successful and married to a supermodel. We have all done some pretty strange stuff to impress some tail... But come on... You are still a man! I don't want a metrosexual quarterback! Tom also recently agreed to be the face of male Uggs. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME TOM BRADY??? Think of your fans for JC's sake! Aren't we going to take enough taunting from Jets fans after another first round loss? You aren't just adding fuel on the fire, you are driving the Exxon Valdez straight into it. Thanks a lot jerk!

MacPaddy.com Coming soon!

That's right! Bought the domain name macpaddy.com. Should have it up and running next week, so it may be a slow week for posts but keep checking in. Let me know if you have any ideas for the site. Logo ideas, content ideas, ways to make money, etc...

John Dennis Will Eat Your Dinner!

Human garbage disposal John Dennis of WEEI is terrible on the radio but he is just plain disturbing on TV. He is probably the only reason I'm glad I don't have HD TV. I have no interest in watching his chins shake like Shakira in a salsa contest.

Miami Heat Players Cry Like Little Girls

The Heat lost to the Chicago for third time this season. According to Miami coach Erik Spoelstra, several Heat players were moved to tears after their 87-86 loss to the Bulls. Dwayne Wade cried to everyone that would listen, "The Miami Heat are exactly what everyone wanted, losing games. The world is better now because the Heat is losing."

If I was Dwayne Wade's 4th grade teacher I would be crying now too. His grammar is terrible. And he's a big cry baby. I bet Lebron cried like a toddler at the dentist. My team lost 4 in a row... Wahhhh! Everybody hates us... Wahhhh! We don't know how to close games... Wahhh! Delonte West fucked my momma... WAHHHH!

7 Year Old Will Kick Your Ass

This kid is a machine! The next Kurt Angle. Just suplexing the shit out of people. He's taking on kids twice his size by the end of the video and just dominating. Reminds me of a young me... with less crying and pants wetting.

Mike Torpey is Just Killing It

Colgate alumni Mike Torpey is making me look bad. We graduated from college in the same class and he is making commercials with Michael Jordan, while I can't afford a pair of Air Jordans. He is doing some fine work for Onion Sports. Check him out. Injured High School Football Player Fulfills Wish of Revenge On Boy Who Paralyzed Him

Thanks for the tip Yurchie and Pooh Diddy

Take This Fucker Out Already

I was running on E the other day, so I pulled into a gas station to fill up. Stuck the old credit card on the meter, hit the 87 unleaded... $56!!! Are you fucking kidding me Gaddafi! But seriously this guy is a dead man walking, kind of like Charlie Sheen. The question isn't if he's going to die, but how he's gonna die. My guess for Gaddafi... cocaine overdose.

Everyone knows that Charlie Sheen is immune to cocaine, so how is he going to die?
Vegas Odds:
Old age: Odds 1 - 534,894,746
Abducted and violently probed by aliens: Odds 1 - 10,000
An extremely rare sexually transmitted disease, which will later bear his name: Odds 1 - 13
Murdered by the FBI for revealing 9/11 consiracy: Odds 1 - 5
Overdose of the most powerful drug in the world... Charlie Sheen: Odds 1 - 2

SoCo Crisp Gets DUI

Oakland A's outfielder, Coco Crisp was arrested in Arizona a few nights ago for DUI. He blew over a .08 at 2:15am. He was driving a Rolls Royce Phantom. I thought all Rolls Royce's came with chauffeurs standard?

Coco was back on the field today and apologized to all of his fans. I'm not sure what is more surprising, that Coco Crisp is still playing baseball or that Coco Crisp has fans?

California Woman Travels 35 Miles on Hood of Car

A married couple got into a fight, he got in the minivan, she got on the hood, he got on the freeway. Witnesses reported that the husband, Chrisopher Carroll, was going over 100 mph and his wife was holding on to the wiper blades. My wiper blades can't support 4 inches of snow let alone a full grown woman. Believe me, I've tried. After travelling for 35 miles Carroll slowed down enough for his wife to roll off. She went to the hospital for hypothermia and probably some wind burn. Carroll then went home to smoke some more crack and was arrested by police. Good thinking Chris, the cops would never think to look for you at the most obvious place. Carroll was also arrested a few days earlier for huffing paint and threatening to drown himself in 5 inches of water. Let's hope they don't have children. This country has enough stupid assholes.

Soccer Player Murders Mascot

The home teams' owl mascot fell injured to the field. Someone kicked a ball at it so the ref stopped play. Opponent Luis Moreno then jogged over and punted the thing about 10 feet to the sideline. The owl died two days later of "shock" according to the vet. Now a bunch of people want to kill him and his mom is crying on TV... Just another day in paradise in Columbia.

First Rule of Fight Club...

9 six-graders were expelled from school for starting a Fight Club at their middle school Tacoma Washington... it appears someone broke the first rule of Fight Club. The school discovered the Fight Club after watching a report on the local news. Way to go Tacoma! I wish I was cool enough to start a fight club in 6th grade. Instead I was sitting on the couch watching X-Files with my parents, patiently waiting for my first nut hair.

Monkey Gets Blowjob from a Frog

Got to admire the monkey's technique here. You think he's a lefty or just doing 'the stranger'? Either way, he looks happy as fuck. He is just having his way with this frog and doesn't care who sees it. No shame at all. I think this video proves once and for all that humans did in fact evolve from apes. I wonder if he is a normal monkey or some kind of emotionally disturbed sexual deviant monkey.

15 Days Until St. Patrick's Day

Pretty sure my stupid dog (pictured above) just ate a AA battery. The last thing she needs is more batteries.

Murphy joins the Celts

An Irish guy named Murph playing for the Celtics? Pinch me. Just last week I was complaining about the lack of token white guys on this team after the departure of Scalabrine. They did add a red head in the off season with Delonte West, but it just wasn't the same. Murphy has played 639 games in his career and has never made the playoffs, which is the longest active streak in the NBA. But it's tough to make the playoffs when you play for the Nets, Warriors and Pacers.

Ted Kennedy Loved Whores

The FBI released documents from 1961 alleging that Ted Kennedy rented out a brothel in Chile for an entire night while on a diplomatic visit to the South American country. Kennedy even invited a US Embassy chauffeur to double team some whores with him. What a guy! I'm going to bed.

Beckett Married a Rocket Scientist?

This story slipped by me, but apparently Josh Beckett married a Rocket Scientist last month. Her name is Holly Fisher and she is the hottest rocket scientist I have ever seen (pictured above). They went to high school together in Texas and while Beckett was throwing fast balls and banging groupies, Holly was getting her Masters degree in Astronautical Engineering from USC. She currently works as a space-engineering consultant. I wonder what they talk about at night? Hunting? Aerospace? Starship Troopers?

Ino Guerrero Knocks Josh Beckett the Fuck Out

Ino Guerrero decided to hit balls back to the mound from the outfield with a fungo bat instead of just bouncing them back towards the BP pitcher. Surprisingly, the fat fuck missed and hit Beckett in the temple sending him home with a mild concussion. What the fuck is Ino Guerrero still doing hanging around with the Red Sox? I thought he was only here to keep Manny's roid rage under control. I am starting a petition to have him sent back to where ever he came from. Where is he from anyways? East Boston?