First Rule of Fight Club...

9 six-graders were expelled from school for starting a Fight Club at their middle school Tacoma Washington... it appears someone broke the first rule of Fight Club. The school discovered the Fight Club after watching a report on the local news. Way to go Tacoma! I wish I was cool enough to start a fight club in 6th grade. Instead I was sitting on the couch watching X-Files with my parents, patiently waiting for my first nut hair.

Monkey Gets Blowjob from a Frog

Got to admire the monkey's technique here. You think he's a lefty or just doing 'the stranger'? Either way, he looks happy as fuck. He is just having his way with this frog and doesn't care who sees it. No shame at all. I think this video proves once and for all that humans did in fact evolve from apes. I wonder if he is a normal monkey or some kind of emotionally disturbed sexual deviant monkey.

15 Days Until St. Patrick's Day

Pretty sure my stupid dog (pictured above) just ate a AA battery. The last thing she needs is more batteries.

Murphy joins the Celts

An Irish guy named Murph playing for the Celtics? Pinch me. Just last week I was complaining about the lack of token white guys on this team after the departure of Scalabrine. They did add a red head in the off season with Delonte West, but it just wasn't the same. Murphy has played 639 games in his career and has never made the playoffs, which is the longest active streak in the NBA. But it's tough to make the playoffs when you play for the Nets, Warriors and Pacers.

Ted Kennedy Loved Whores

The FBI released documents from 1961 alleging that Ted Kennedy rented out a brothel in Chile for an entire night while on a diplomatic visit to the South American country. Kennedy even invited a US Embassy chauffeur to double team some whores with him. What a guy! I'm going to bed.

Beckett Married a Rocket Scientist?

This story slipped by me, but apparently Josh Beckett married a Rocket Scientist last month. Her name is Holly Fisher and she is the hottest rocket scientist I have ever seen (pictured above). They went to high school together in Texas and while Beckett was throwing fast balls and banging groupies, Holly was getting her Masters degree in Astronautical Engineering from USC. She currently works as a space-engineering consultant. I wonder what they talk about at night? Hunting? Aerospace? Starship Troopers?

Ino Guerrero Knocks Josh Beckett the Fuck Out

Ino Guerrero decided to hit balls back to the mound from the outfield with a fungo bat instead of just bouncing them back towards the BP pitcher. Surprisingly, the fat fuck missed and hit Beckett in the temple sending him home with a mild concussion. What the fuck is Ino Guerrero still doing hanging around with the Red Sox? I thought he was only here to keep Manny's roid rage under control. I am starting a petition to have him sent back to where ever he came from. Where is he from anyways? East Boston?