Thursday, February 10, 2011

Breaking News: Manny vows to sabotage the Rays this year



Manny Ramirez recently spoke with ESPN Deportes reporter Elian Gonzalez, saying "Yo estaba amamantado hasta la edad de cinco anos. He estado jugando a la pelota desdela edad de tres anos. El Doctor me dijo que necisitaba hormonas femeninas para golpear." Which was loosely translated by myself not too long ago. Manny will be playing DH this year for the Rays and threatened to "strangle anyone who asks him to bring a glove to the park." He went on to say that he looks forward to seeing the Red Sox in Tampa so he can "choke that old man again" in reference to Red Sox traveling Secretary Jack McCormick.

When Gonzalez questioned Manny about his $2 million dollar salary Manny calmly replied, "Mis testiculos han desparecido por completo. Ninguna cantidad de dinero cada vez los traera de vuelta." Which loosely translates to "I plan to strangle to owner before the season is over or perhaps hold his children hostage." New teammate Johnny Damon refused to comment claiming to speak no spanish and very little english.

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