Contestant #1 Contestant #2 Contestant #3
Contestant #1 is 19 years old. She lives in a massive sandcastle she was given after her first divorce six years ago. She has no children and no shame. If Tiger is looking for a degrading night of sex, he came to the right place.
Contestant # 2 is 27 year old fallen Pop sensation, Hare Allova. She leapt to fame after her debut album, "Dry Hump" shot to number one. Hare career was destroyed with the release of a hardcore private video, exposing her belly button for all the world to see. She was forced to leave her native Syria and is currently living in Dubai blowing billionares.
Contestant # 3 is a wild card... actually no one seems to know a whole lot about #3... She's got a bag on her head... and it matches her weird underwear for some stragely logical reason. Tiger is a total freak, so I have to give this girl a chance.
Smart Money is on Hare Allova
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